Kids, It’s Not Your Fault, It’s Your Condition!
In conjunction with our Family Leadership Conference 2024 Theme: Parenting: A Ministry of Reconciliation!, the May 2024 newsletter article focused on humility as God’s antidote to quarreling. This month, we want to take a look at humility (and humble repentance) from the most positive perspective possible: It’s Not Your Fault, It’s Your Condition!
Joy-filled Repentance?
The intention of this article is to encourage parents as Reconciliation Facilitators to practically consider how they can enthusiastically and positively lead their children to joy-filled repentance without condemnation. At first glance, that seems like an absurd oxymoron! How can a child have joy-filled repentance when the Scripture commands the believer to, “Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and [your] joy to heaviness?” (James 4:9 KJV) The answer is found in our perspective. Joy comes in the mourning (sic). (Psalm 30:5, 90:14; Jer 31:13)[1]
Since the intention of this article is practical application, it is necessary to acknowledge that the scriptural support is taken from Romans 1-8. However, it is not the purpose of this article to do a deep dive into those passages, but to refer to their general conclusions in order to suggest some practical applications the Scripture gives for our child-training.
The joy begins with deliverance from the condemnation that arises from our sin. Romans 1:18-3:20 explores the radical conclusion that the whole world is guilty before God: as it is written, "THERE IS NONE RIGHTEOUS, NOT EVEN ONE!” “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Rom 3:10, 23 LSB) Our sin leaves us all in a dire condition of condemnation. (We have the disease!) “For the wages of sin is death, but the gracious gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Rom 6:23 LSB) Note that our joy begins with terror, we are walking dead men! But we can recover that hope through the gracious gift of God, who is offering eternal life to all who have this death sentence! How does one access this gift? The gift of eternal life is available to all who believe .
Romans 4 deals substantively with saving faith, illustrating it through David and Abraham , and it concludes with the confidence of justification for those who believe . The practical result of having Abraham’s saving faith is confidence that we have peace. We boast in hope and we are filled with the love of God by the Holy Spirit! (See Romans 5:1-5) “And not only this, but we also boast in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation.” (Romans 5:11 LSB) The experience of God’s love is both inward, by the filling of the Holy Spirit, and outward, by the spiritual understanding that Christ died for us, the ungodly. (See Romans 5:6-10.) This is where the discussion gets REALLY encouraging as we learn that our sin is like a birth defect. We have it by our inheritance from Adam.
Our Spiritual Birth Defect
Birth defect? Yes!
Romans chapter 5:12-21 explains the origin of sin and the means of its forgiveness. The most remarkable thing about our sin is that it originated with Adam and we were made sinners when we were conceived, and so we sin because it is our nature to sin! However, this sin of Adam’s was passed on to us before we ever even had the chance to understand what sin is! Adam’s sin passed unto all men and so did sin’s penalty: death! We die because of Adam’s sin, not our own! This is why I use the phrase, “It’s Not Your Fault, It’s Your Condition!” What does that mean? It means that in terms of our sin nature, we all have a “genetic defect” from Adam that must be cured or we will surely die!
When a child inherits a birth defect, that child did nothing to cause it; they were born with it. This defect very often has potentially deadly side effects that, if not addressed, frequently leads to an early death. However, if properly treated, the deadly effects can be reduced. The question of survival is: will the child be given the chance to live by getting the “cure,” or will the defect be allowed to take the life of the affected child? Hence my phrase: “It’s Not Your Fault, It’s Your Condition!” The condition does not originate with the child, so there is no emotional baggage that weighs down and debilitates the child saying, “It’s your own fault!”; simply put, they have the disease and they need the cure, –which in spiritual terms is already provided in Christ. This is why joy and positivity are so ready to swell up like a wellspring and bring hope into an otherwise dire situation.
I can testify as a pastor that birth defects (or other childhood diseases) bring about great worry, fear, sorrow and dread because of their looming consequences! Blaming the child is not what the loving parent does; however, looking for a cure is their immediate response and pursuit in order to prevent those looming consequences as much as possible. There is no condemnation in having the disease, just a tremendous motive to get the cure. And that is the approach we sons and daughters of Adam need to have: “We have the disease, let us go to Jesus who has the cure!” And that is the proper expression of humility! Remember the Canaanite woman? “She came and was bowing down before [Jesus], saying, “Lord, help me!” She said, “Yes, Lord; but even the dogs feed on the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table.”” (Matthew 15:25, 27 LSB) The cure is all that matters! Who won’t humbly ask for help from Him who has the cure? “Hope does not put to shame, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” (Rom 5:5 LSB)
We look forward to an encouraging time with you at Camp, as we learn more about our parental roles as Reconciliation Facilitators for our children. See you there!
[1] “For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for a lifetime; Weeping may last for the night, But a shout of joy [comes] in the morning.” (Psa 30:5 LSB) “O satisfy us in the morning with Your lovingkindness, That we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.” (Ps 90:14 LSB) “Then the virgin will be glad in the dance, And the young men and the old, together, For I will turn their mourning into joy And will comfort them and give them gladness for their sorrow.” (Jer 31:13 LSB)